There were a few suggestions that I should post while I prance around India looking for things I can't find here, and furthermore keep those who are interested as to my doings there up to date with the frolicking. I will admit it's going to be nice to look back at the whole experience whence I have returned, and this is a good place to establish a solid foundation for my memories. And I promise to keep it clean!
So, as I finished my thesis I thought I might prepare myself for an exit to India, and the only way I know how to truly do that is to put on the Beatles white album, and bask in the glory of what they made there. Since I have been a Beatles fan since I was in the seventh grade, this is also an opportunity to reflect how I'm even in the position to be traveling there in the first place.
After I returned home from the west from the first round trip, I had a great deal of questions. Although a great deal of the questions were steeped heavily in the tea mug of heart ache, I had more questions about what this life was, what God was about, who I was, and where I was going in relation to those around me.Not that these questions weren't posed earlier in some form or another; it was that these questions seemed important and there was an immediacy to them that wasn't present as before.
A friend of mine, who was in the same state as I, handed me the Autobiography of a Yogi. As I progressed through the pages a great deal of the answers I had been asking were addressed. I truly felt that Hinduism was a home I could reside in. However, as things move on, and they always do, I felt that a great deal was still missing. However, in the mean time as I was doing yoga and meditation I went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and there smiling back at me was the originator of the line of gurus I had been studying under. His face was on a pin that George Harrison has wore during the concert of Bangladesh. I would be lying if I didn't think at the time this was somehow mean to be. I would later go home and reexamine the cover of Sgt. Pepper to discover three more gurus of the same line. To even hit the nail harder I owned their books. It felt odd that there was this connection; something I had been so obsessed about for so long (The Beatles) was a connection for later in life. Yet, as I studied, to reiterate, it just didn't feel right.
So, I went deeper into the Indian traditions and discovered Buddhism.
Just like Hinduism at first I loved it, and went so far as to study at a college that claimed to be the only Buddhist inspired college in North America. One would think this place would be a mecca of free, open minded, free thinking, understanding, objectively academic, and fun loving people. However, that was not the case. I will admit that most of them thought outside of box, but they had built a box of their own, stood on it and professed their way of thinking. Being that the Buddha had said that if you disagree with something you hear, you should question those who posed the idea in the first place, and then answer it for yourself. I quickly discovered that any sort expostulation was out of the question.
So, once I again I found myself looking for more answers about myself and the direction I should head. Finding myself in Ohio and due to a slight miss direction (the miss direction taught me I can't do math) I found myself at Ashland University.
I feel privileged to have come in contact with those who reside at Ashland the students and the faculty alike. These last few years I have come to feel like I belong. My questions are never looked at as a hindrance, but only as exploration as I have always thought they were. It was here at Ashland that it was suggested that I finally make the leap to India in my quest for whatever it is that I'm searching for, and to be honest I don't even know what that is. Hopefully I can finally find it, and tell you about it as I do.
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